Read: Lucy Grealy, "Mirrorings" (PDF posted to Moodle and sent via the chat)
Write: 1 paragraph answering the following question: Do you think Grealy’s essay would have been different if it were written by a man, or not?
Explain your answer making direct reference to the text via a quotation or paraphrase. (A paraphrase is when you put something someone else has written in your own words, following their sentence or sentences closely. A paraphrase is about the same length as the original text.)
This essay has page numbers, so be sure to add the page number associated with your quote in parentheses.
Note that there are no wrong answers to this question.
I think that not only would the essay would have been presented differently but the author's experience would have been a complete different one as well. The author communicates her own experience with beauty and worth based on the fact that her face didn’t look like “the others”. This not only creates issues within herself from herself, but from those outside of her too. Women’s value is highly linked with our appearance and how closely we resemble any ideal(according to social standards). Our worth as human beings as well as our value as women, as potential romantic/sexual partners. A form of objectification in itself, of course. And because our sense of value and worth is so connected to that, being perceived as beautiful isn’t even a reward in the sense that brings us true value or inner confidence, it is used as a form of trophy; how good we can make someone else look being at their side, how well someone else can brag about “having” us, etc. In page 73, the author wrote “ Had I been a man, would I have had to walk down the street while a group of young women followed and denigrated my sexual worth?”. In this part of the essay, I think she puts the change of perspective clear enough to bring about these questions and answers.
ReplyDeleteIt certainly would not be the same if it was written by a man. The author's point of view would be different, how her mom treated her would've been different, she wouldn't have cared as much about looks if she was a guy. Truth of the matter is that guy's are way less attractive, most of us are average, not many stand out. “I was sure that if only I had a normal face, I would be happy” (p.8). This thought she had, would've never had crossed her mind. And she wouldn't have attended the all female college which would change a huge chunk of her life. I do think the story would be completely different if it was written by a guy, her life even as a kid with cancer would've been different and her whole path in the story wouldn't be the same as it is now.
ReplyDeleteI personally think that the essay would have been different and his experience would have been different as well. The author expresses her experience with beauty and in.a way that she does not look like the others around her. This creates a conflict internally and with the others. Her experience show that her value is based on her looks and to men find her attractive. She expresses her beauty not as an advantage, but a trophy for the men and an ornament of their “success”. In page 73, the author wrote, “Their taunts came at me not because I was disfigured but because I was a disfigured woman.” This shows the way that men evaluate women, and how it can affect the women as well. She is obviously taking it badly, as she undergoes a lot of surgeries. On this part of the essay, she puts her perspective about how men evaluate women, and it is clear that women would evaluate men different; and possibly not for their looks, but because of other factors.
ReplyDeleteI do believe that Grealy's essay would have been different if it had been written by a man. Since she was ten years old, the author has struggled with herself, her thoughts and her perspective on life. Her parents failed to give her the support she needed when she was fighting cancer. Once the fight against the disease was over, unlike most cancer survivors, her sadness increased and life became more difficult. She chose to silence and suppress her feelings by isolating herself. "School became a battleground" (Grealy, 1993, p.67). While she was in school she was teased over her appearance, and the same thing happens now that she is an adult. The difference is that now the teasing is not by immature school boys, rather by men around her, which hurts even more. No woman should have to endure comments, looks and opinions from men while walking down the street or anywhere. They don't tease her because of her disfigured face, they tease her because she is a "disfigured woman" (Grealy, 1993, p.73); they tease her because she is a woman who does not fit the "normal" and sexual standards for men and society. If she were a man with a disfigured face and different appearance, the story would be different. For as Grealy says, "Had I been a man, would I have had to walk down the street while a group of young women followed and denigrated my sexual worth?" (1993, p.73). To answer her question, I am sure that no, if she were a man, she would not have to feel uncomfortable walking down the street because she would not have to deal with women, or even men themselves, shouting denigrating comments or chasing her.
ReplyDelete-Angelys M. Rivera Hernández
13/sept/2021
I think there are two specific aspects of the text that we need to inspect when asking the question of whether or not it would be different if Lucy Grealy was a man. Because in my opinion, a lot of what Grealy goes through has a lot more to do with how we treat people with disfigurations like the one she had and less to do with gender. Though, that’s not to say gender doesn’t play a role.
ReplyDeleteI feel like through most of her young school life, the way other kids treated her didn’t have so much to do with her gender than it had to do with the way she looked. A lot of kids probably thought of her as different or even ugly, and this sort of discrimination would have probably happened regardless of gender. Even the insults made against her because she was a girl could be translated to something along the same lines if she was a boy. Especially at the time when this sort of treatment was common and society as a whole was much less accepting.
I don’t think elements of gender come into play until we see the way that men treat her when she grew older. At the time, there was this very specific way a woman should be. Anybody who didn’t fit that description was bullied, discriminated, and overall treated awful. And that element of society most definitely worsened her situation. If she were a man, the attacks made against her by men would at the very least be a lot less aggressive and certainly not sexual. Something that can be seen very plainly on the 73rd page of the essay when Grealy describes how boys and men saw her long blonde hair and thin figure thinking they would find her attractive only to see what she really looks like.
So yes, most certainly her experience would have been different if she were a man, though I do think it’s worth exploring the other elements of her life that don’t have as much to do with gender in my opinion. - Adrian Jimenez
Surely the essay would be totally different if it had been written by a man. It would have a different approach and a different style, because it is clear the difference between men and women when it comes to expressing themselves. The point of view of the situation, the attitude of the parents and the attitude of the people watching would be very different if it had been a boy. From birth girls are pretty and boys are brave, these thoughts make men grow up restricting their emotions and women idealizing their bodies. That's why men often don't focus on their bodies or their appearance, because from a young age the "important" thing was to be strong. And in women this is totally opposite because many grow up worried about their appearance and what it impresses and occasions in others. Clearly there may be exceptions, but it is very likely that if the essay had been written by a man, the purpose of the reading would have been to relate his experiences without talking much about his emotions and feelings during the situation. As I said, men live in pursuit of other things so they don't have time to look at their appearance or their physique. So a sentence like “I was sure that if only I had a normal face, I would be happy” as Grealy’s says in page 8 strangely enough it would have been contemplated by a man.
ReplyDeleteIf Lucy Grealy was a man instead of a woman, things would not change much. The reason why I think things would not change much is because people would still be making fun her or insulting her. In page 4, she is used as an insult and in page 8 we see that was still getting teased, not every day but it was more painful than when she was a child. Those two pages can be example of any kid, who’s body is normal, that has been teased or bullied by others. I think that if she was “normal”, people would still make fun of her because people will always find anything fun of others.
ReplyDelete- Jekxelmaniel Martinez
On page 66, the author says the following line: “There was a long period of time, almost a year, during which I never looked in a mirror”. In this sentence, Lucy Grealy expresses that embarrassment about her appearance. If this article was written by a man, it would change dramatically everything. The emotions in the words would be different, because men don’t think the same as women do in certain circumstances. For example, some women think that appearance is important, but some men think otherwise, that it’s not that important. Also, the author’s reaction would be different, because as a woman, she felt sad and all that, but if it was a man, maybe he would’ve felt bad, but not to the extent of feeling sad. Most men are taught from a very young age to be strong emotionally and to not care about what others think, but women tend to be taught that every word that a person thinks about her are very important.
ReplyDelete-Luis Osorio
It's safe to say the essay would be totally different if Lucy Grealy was a man. There are so much aspects that could change in this essay just because the people would not treat her the same and she wouldn't had go through all the many things she went through. She was treated badly most of her life because of her appearance and that affected her mentally, but if it would've been a Man, things would probably be different. Sure, it would've affected him in some kind of way, but he would've gone on to focus on other things instead of just dwelling on appearances.(page 9) "On one level I understood that the image of my face was merely that, an image, a surface that was not directly related to any true, deep definition of the self". This part of the essay she said something that is actually true, but if she would've kept thinking like this throughout the essay things would've gone better. Overall I think if it was written by a Man, it would've been less about the struggle with appearances and more about the problems that he went through his life. Obviously she went through a lot in her life because of this, but a Man would've just done it differently based on how Men think differently to Women.
ReplyDeleteFisical appearance and self worth, are two of the most common topics in this reading. This issue also appears to us frequently in our daily life as a woman. If you ask me, if I think this essay would have been different if a man had written it, my answer would be a resounding yes. women are taught from an early age to follow mandates, expectations and orders. You are skinny, eat more. Men like woman with a little meat. You are so fat, lose some weight. You’re too hairy, shave. Don’t have stretch marks. Have nice skin; dont have pimples, that’s nasty. You should take more care of yourself. Why you fix yourself so much, don’t be superficial. Your trying too hard. Look young, old is ugly. And men? they don’t like ugly stuff. I am one hundred percent sure that men do not receive this type of comment in their daily lives. On the other hand, women receive them even on the streets. One of the sentences that made me realize that men just have it easier in that way, and that they just don’t have to deal with this kind of situations, it’s located in the second paragraph of the eight page; and it said “Children stared at me, and 1 learned to cross the street to avoid them; this bothered me, but not as much as the insults I got from men. Their taunts came at me not because I was disfigured but because I was a disfigured woman. They came from boys, sometimes men, and almost always from a group of them.” This makes it even more clear, that man “can do whatever they want, whenever they want” in some type of way. they themselves had made us think and believe that’s they are just superior. That men are the dominant race; that they do not need to be accepted because they are simply the highest in society.
ReplyDelete-Alexandra N. Soto
Do I think Grealy's essay would have been different if it were written by a man? Yes, I do. Reading Grealy's essay gives the reader a taste of how easy it is to lose yourself in hope to be deemed acceptable in society. Grealy states very early in her essay that the situation she was present in for over 18 years of her life evidently distorted the image she had of herself. This can be seen when she states "These comments, all from men and all obviously sexual, hurt and disoriented me." (p.66). We live in a society where, as women, we are conditioned to find validation through men's approval. This evidently took a toll on Grealy that wouldn't have happened if she were a man, and it is clearly present in this sequence of quotes. Grealy states "Their taunts came at me not because I was disfigured but because I was a disfigured woman." (p.73) evidencing how her role as a woman noticeably took part on the treatment she received. She also states "Only two or three times have I ever been teased by a single person, and I can think of only one time when I was ever teased by a woman." (p.73). This series of quotes backs up how being a woman in a man's world made Grealy's situation much more difficult. Although there was an internal struggle of acceptance, that factor just aggravated it. It made her constantly look for validation in men, when she only needed to be at peace with herself.
ReplyDeleteAt first I thought that this memoir of Lucy was going to include a more fisical story, but as I kept reading I realized that it was all a mental battle of her own. Even though in the reading it mentions the different procedures lucy decided to undergo, I strongly believe that if the essay was written by a man it would be different. Men tend to have less criticism from society when it comes to looks, and if it had been the same situation as Lucy on a man, society would at the beggining shame him or bully him, but it wiuld cease sooner or later. On page 1 of the essay it says that the comments that lucy recieved about her face were all from men. a lot of men tend to believe that they cand do or say whatever they want, and a lot think that women are beneath them, hence the reason this essay would be diffeent if it were a man, just because men might offend other men, but the kind of treatment Lucy recieved would never reflect the same on a man. On page 9 Lucy says that based on our appereances is hoiw we make decicions every day, and without a doubt that it true. For example: since Lucy recieved comments from her face by a lot of men she decided to hide her face and from society.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI personally think that if the essay was written by a man it would be different but the feelings the girl had some of them would be similar to a men’s feelings due to insecurities about their face. She had so many problems with accepting her self that those problems took a hold of her with having friends, going out etc. I feel like if it was written by a man he would have pretty similar insecurities due to his face. Something Lucy said that was that the hospital was a safe place for her and it was her favorite place to be, why that? Because the doctors made her feel accepted and I feel that a man would feel the same way as she felt. “Society is no help, it tells us again and again that we can most be ourselves by looking like someone else”. In page 35 I read that and that is really true because we always look at other people and compare ourselves to other people, that is something Lucy did and a men would also do because that is something I do. If I put myself in Lucy’s position I would have the same insecurities but I do think a man would’ve written the essay different to lucy’s essay.
Adriel De Jesus
Grealy’s essay would have definitely been different if it had been written by a man. I say this because in the society in which we live in, women’s bodies are very sexualized. She describes how her experience with cat calling affected her self-esteem. A great example of this feeling is when she talks about men insulting her in the streets, “Their taunts came at me not because I was disfigured but because I was a disfigured woman.” (p. 73). As a woman, being disfigured or not does not determine whether you get verbally assaulted on the streets or not. Sadly, it’s just a matter of time until a man decides to comment on your appearance when you’re a woman walking on the streets. When it comes to comparing men’s and women’s behaviors towards the opposite sex, women don’t act with such entitlement upon commenting on the way men look. Certainly, women still judge based on appearance, all humans do, but most don’t even feel entitled to express their opinion towards every random man they encounter in public. This is why a man wouldn't have the same experience as her, because society would have respected him a lot more.
ReplyDelete-Alondra Acevedo Ortiz
The essay "Mirrorings", written by Lucy Grealy, tells the story of the author on her way to finding self-love after having passed jaw cancer, which left noticeable changes in her face. She talks about her chemotherapies she did at a young age, her variety of surgeries she did, etc. Because of how influential “male-dominated society” was at that time, in my opinion, the essay written by a man would have been totally different. Although the man may experience feelings like those of Lucy, it is very likely that he did not receive the same derogatory treatment. As the author mentions: "Society is no help; it tells us again and again that we can most be ourselves by looking like someone else, leaving our own faces behind to turn into ghosts that will inevitably resent and haunt us" (p.75). Unfortunately, men and women in the eyes of society do not fulfill the same role having therefore that they are not influenced in the same way, being an example: appearance. In this “male-dominated society” women were forced to meet certain standards of beauty which, on the contrary, men did not have the same pressure to meet. If the women didn’t "fulfill" such standards, as reflected in the reading, they would probably end up being victims of rejection and humiliation. All of this resulted in Lucy doubting both self-love and the love from others. It even led her to think that she was not enough to be considered a woman (p. 72). All this is something extremely sad and unpleasant since we all have the same right to be treated equally regardless of our gender and how we look.
ReplyDelete-Amanda Quiñones
Yes, Grealy’s essay would have been different if she was a man, but it depends on the situation because if it is about man vs self it would most likely not be different at all since insecurities and in general, personal problems are not woman only. However, if we talk about man vs society then it is going to be different in terms of experiences for example when she wrote about how men commented on her appearance. “Their taunts came at me not because I was disfigured but because I was a disfigured woman” (Grealy 73). It is one of the things only a woman would have to face. But Men do often get criticized for their physical appearance, but it is less likely and more silent, it would not be yelled out loud. Grealy was made fun of because of her medical problems and being catcalled since society has a definition of beauty and normal especially on women.
ReplyDelete-D. Padilla
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIn her autobiography “Mirrorings,” Lucy Grealy narrates her struggles with a life-changing illness and “curing” transformation that will lead to an overwhelming identity crisis and journey to self-acceptance. When analyzing the main idea, Grealy’s essay wouldn’t have been as different if it were written by a man. This identity crisis could be traced back to the author’s cancer diagnosis, which has a direct impact on her future and could be considered the beginning of a marginalization era. The major surgeries and chemotherapy effects are enough to make any person question themselves as individuals, regardless of gender. Men, as well as women, can feel displaced and unfitting in terms of society’s standards. According to society, men have certain esthetic standards they are supposed to meet, not as strict as women’s standards. Nevertheless, they are present and overly influential. Therefore, men would be oppressed and overlooked. They will experience the same “outcasts mindset” and create the fantasy and urge to find themselves through physical change. Unlike women, men won’t be able to seem vulnerable in the eyes of society. “Society is no help; it tells us again and again that we can most be ourselves by looking like someone else, leaving our own faces behind to turn into ghosts that will inevitably resent and haunt us.” (Page 75) This statement suggests an unavoidable problem without exclusions. Indeed, being a woman comes with a set of challenges that, in a hierarchical male society, it would impose a greater influence in their thoughts about themselves. Although, above all, what every person thinks about itself becomes the real judge, jury, and executioner.
ReplyDeleteBy: Pennélope Alers
I think Grealys essay was a great insight into the life of a self-conscious person. She's an inspiration to many people. In my opinion, because of all the hurdles, she had to overcome in her life. That didn't stop her from choosing what many people would do in her position, which would be suicide. That said, I don't think the essay would have a significant change written by a male writer. Although some parts of the essay, for example, when Grealy says on (page 73), "Their taunts came at me not because I was disfigured but because I was a disfigured woman. They came from boys, sometimes men, and almost always from a
ReplyDeletegroup of them." It would be the same for men, going through what she went through because society is cruel to both genders regarding looks. Being a male and having the male perspective, I've seen countless times how men are judge by their faces and teased by other men and women for looking different or "not good looking." We live in a society with high beauty standards, and it judges people by anything it can find to comment. Being male, woman, gay, straight, bi, or not being within someone's beauty standards are all things that at least one person will comment their opinion good or bad. I think Grealys essay sums up how someone with a beauty "defect" has to go through in their daily life. I love how Grealy portrayed how she felt in-depth about dealing with all the nasty comments and how she felt dealing with chemotherapy. (Page 66) "Every Friday for two and a half years I climbed up onto that big doctor's table and told myself not to cry, and every week I failed." and how she had to deal with her insecurity with men even though she went through extensive plastic surgery. (Page 76) "like to him. What was he actually seeing when he saw me? So many times I've asked this of myself, and always the answer is this: a warm, smart woman, yes, but an unattractive one. I sat there in the cafe and asked myself this old question, and startlingly, for the first time in my life, I had no answer readily prepared." I believe she is a person with a strong will even though she doesn't see it herself. (Page 72), "Just as I had done in childhood,
I pretended nothing was wrong, and this was constantly mistaken by others for bravery." Just the act of getting out of bed and facing this cruel world, especially with her situation, is a strength many don't have. I hope I can be as brave as her every day to face every comment and challenge that comes my way.
ReplyDeleteDifferences between a man's writing and a woman's writing can be noticed by an audience; mostly in books, but here, in a memoir it is different, since it is a person’s story they are telling. But let’s look at some similarities regardless of the gender: the way the nurses tell the girl to be strong, or to not cry, because it makes her more brave, when she clearly didn't want to be brave she just wanted someone to make her feel treasured; as it is seen today in the stereotype that the society has established for men. On another aspect, it would have been written differently in the point of view of emotions, how he or she felt, neither of them can tell how the other would feel. In my opinion, a man's writing will never be as accurate and detailed as a woman’s writing if it is narrated from the point of view of a woman. Furthermore, she talks about beauty and how she sees it so close from her sister and her friends, but for her the word beauty is far away. The experience may be different, therefore it will be written differently.
Differences between a man's writing and a woman's writing can be noticed by an audience; mostly in books, but here, in a memoir it is different, since it is a person’s story they are telling. But let’s look at some similarities regardless of the gender: the way the nurses tell the girl to be strong, or to not cry, because it makes her more brave, when she clearly didn't want to be brave she just wanted someone to make her feel treasured; as it is seen today in the stereotype that the society has established for men. On another aspect, it would have been written differently in the point of view of emotions, how he or she felt, neither of them can tell how the other would feel. In my opinion, a man's writing will never be as accurate and detailed as a woman’s writing if it is narrated from the point of view of a woman. Furthermore, she talks about beauty and how she sees it so close from her sister and her friends, but for her the word beauty is far away. (page 4) ‘’I wasn’t exactly sure what this would entail, but I believed that if I could just find the right philosophy, think the right thoughts, my suffering would end.’’ She decided to create an idea of what could be living the ‘real life’ from her perspective to try to understand the world she was living in. It got to the point that she made herself believe that she was the only one who knew what was really important, she said that the gossip on tv, fashion and music criticism were insignificant and she saw that life was a gift that not everyone had in the same way.
ReplyDeleteIn thinking of an answer to this question, I am undecided in my position. I believe that yes, many things would have been different if the essay had been written by a man, however, I believe it would have many similarities. First of all, the stereotype of beauty that is held for women is not the same as that held for men. Socially, the experiences that most men have are not the same experiences that most women follow. Grealy mentions that "My non identical twin sister stared going out with boys..." (p.3); She also says that "My sister and her friends put on blue eye shadow, blew-dried their hair, and spent endless hours in the local mall...."(p.5). Being young, girls are always made to look pretty, while boys should be very manly and strong, and look for women as if they were things. If Grealy had been a man this stage of her youth would have been very different. Also, in his adulthood I think many things would be different. Grealy mentions that "Had I been a man, would I have had to walk down the street while a group of young women followed and denigrated my sexual worth?" (p.8). Social stereotypes and the cannon of female beauty, continue to govern many things in her life, which clearly if she were a man would not be that way. On the other hand, there are things that I believe would be the same if she were a man. The society in which we live is used to follow certain precepts, certain rules of beauty. Anyone who is not under those rules is not accepted by the majority of society.I think that if Grealy had been a man, he would have received the same mockery, the same rejection, the same behavior from society. On the last page of the essay (p.10) Grealy says "Society is no help; it tells us again and again that we can most be ourselves by looking like someone else, leaving our own faces behind to turn into ghosts that will inevitably resent and haunt us." The same would have happened if this essay was written by a man, in both cases there is a social pressure involved and a mental battle.
ReplyDeleteDiego Diaz
ReplyDeleteIn this piece, Grealy describes the influence of her experiences of cancer, its treatments, and the resulting deformity of her face on her development as a person. She explores how physical appearance influences one's sexual identity and over all self worth. She also explores how one's own interpretation of one's appearance can be self fulfilling. Only after a year of not looking at herself in the mirror, ironically at a time when she appears more "normal" than ever before, does Grealy learn to embrace her inner self and to see herself as more than ugly. This comes to say would it have been different if it was written by a man yes I think it would only because of the time it was written. Also because of the way that a man could have a diferent midset or experience as compared to Lucy Grealy